Video: COPS Theme Song "What You Gonna Do?"- My Spouse's favorite song :)
I have this bad habit of entering conversations inappropriately. I walked to someone's cubicle, and just jumped in to an ongoing conversation with (what I thought was) a helpful fact. I got put in my place with "I already have a Mother."
The simple response was to back way off - and then stop by a few hours latter to appologize. I did this, and I think we are OK once again.
The harder fix is to change my behaviour. I can be too much of a helper. I need to remember that sometimes people don't want an answer or solution - they just want to vent. I also need to remember that just because I am near a conversation doesn't mean that I'm engaged in a conversation - I should wait for an invitation.
The harderst realisation came a few days later. I was most upset by the response that so effectively put me in my place. This interaction had been bothering me for days, and even my appology didn't stop my discomfort. Yes, I realized that it was a literal interpretation of "I already have a Mother." I guess I'm jeolous after losing my Mom back in the mid 1980's. This realiztion hit me like a brick wall while driving to work this morning, and since figuring this out - I've felt much better about the whole incident.
So here are my take-aways:
1. I'm not part of an ongoing conversation until/unless invited to participate.
2. Give people the gift of the most optimistic or liberal interpretation. If I am upset or offended, it may be because of baggage that I bring into the conversation.
3. If I error, I want to error on the side of being too forgiving. Too slow to tense and anger Not unforgiving and too quick to anger.
4. Be careful and sensitive in my use of language. And, be sensitive to the effect my language has on people. If I see hurt or damage, engage to fix it as soon as possible.
5 Be sensitive to my own feelings - if something is bothering me - try to figure it out.
About this post. I feel a bit exposed in posting this story. I think this is something of a risk posting such a personal story. But, that is really what blogging is about. This event will inform my understanding of people dynamics in my projects going forward.
That said, I would appreciate your thoughts (Yes, post stuff like this; or No, don't post stuff like this in the comments.